Walked to work today, and feel like I’m going to pass out. Am I really so unfit? Probably. But after last night’s Actionettes rehearsal, I was still hepped up and full of swingin’ dance energy, so I put my Actionettes CD on and bopped across the river. When I got to Westminster I noticed that there were people sitting in parks listening to headphones. Walking along listening to headphones. Glancing around, while listening to headphones. I came to the logical conclusion that they were all spies, and not listening to music at all, but being fed information about dodgy-looking folk loitering near the Houses of Parliament. I considered pausing at the entrance to Downing Street, surveying the skies in a frowny manner, and muttering into my watch, but I didn’t much fancy the thought of spending all day at the police station. Although at least I wouldn’t have had to come to work, where it is busy and I am bugged all day by fools.

Gross

My arms felt all greasy, so I scrubbed at them with some toilet paper. The paper came away grey with dirt. As my walk to work is almost entirely along traffic-clogged main roads, this shouldn’t surprise me, but it’s still pretty foul to realise that your skin is covered in exhaust from idling cars.

A few weeks ago me and Steve went to Brussels for a long weekend. It was one of the nicest holidays I’ve ever had, as it was cheap, swanky, and we travelled by train. OK, so it wasn’t the Orient Express or the trippy and fantastic Budapest Children’s Railway (I think the drivers are out of their teens, but the conductors and station staff are all under 16), but now that flying has become so time-consuming and crap, the train is for me.

Also, we stayed at the Hilton, and it was sexy in that way only large, business-y hotels are. Sort of impersonal, and lots of gold and glass and ornate lifts. We were amazed they actually let us in, and every time we passed the doorman and entered the lobby, we’d whisper ‘keep walking… they didn’t see us yet’ to each other, and scurry to our room, where we would breathe a sigh of relief and laugh gleefully at having been allowed to stay in a place we obviously could not afford.

Saw the twins last week. At two and a half, they are chatty and smiley, and I was pleased to see that they are upholding the Jasiewicz tradition of taking off their trousers in the evening, the more comfortably to watch TV and let their dinner digest.

Saw a billboard this morning for a film I thought was called ‘Jaws of Attraction’ – well, it was starring Pierce Brosnan, so I assumed some savvy casting director had realised that rather than being a hunk of burnin’ love, Pierce is the most terrifying man alive.

Petty acts of rebellion I have performed today

When the bus conductor wouldn’t let people on the bus cos – quelle surprise – it was too busy, and she said “No, it’s full up.” I screeched back “Full of SHIT!” No, I’m not sure what I mean either.

When, for the second day in a row, the photocopier was jammed and needed fixing before it could be used again, I taped a notice to it saying “Dear all, if the copier breaks while you are using it, please fix it instead of leaving this for the next person to do. This is not nice.”

At work, drew a smiley face in biro on the wall near the lifts.

OK, Officer, I’ll come quietly.