CONTENTS OF THE WORK FRIDGE

Four different troughs of rank-looking salad, age and owner unknown

One banana, dark brown (WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT KEEPS BANANAS IN THE FRIDGE, ANYWAY?!)

My lonely bagel (cheddar, spinach and watercress, on a cinnamon raisin bagel. Yes, I know you’re making a face, but try it), shoved to the back by one of the aggressive salads

Small cup of single cream. Eugh.

Yoghurts breeding yoghurts breeding yet more yoghurts

Half-drunk smoothies. It’s not like they’re even that fucking big. Is there really any point in leaving two inches in the bottle?

“There’s a lot been said about dot gain”

Blah. Back at work after a two day course/corporate schmooze at a printers’ in Somerset. They seemed to be touting for business, as they showed us the newest CTP (computer to plate) technology and got us drunk, and I felt a little bit guilty eating the free dinner and sleeping in the lovely country inn when in fact I don’t buy print at all for my company, and being in editorial it’s not something I have any input on… But what the hey, it was free and there was food. I was smart and kept my mouth shut.

Somerset was beautiful, though. I got the train to Bath, a hilly, greystone town with parkland, a river, teashops and enough Olde English charm to keep me happy for the half hour I had there. I did notice something disturbing, though. I haven’t been in a car for a long time (I live in London! No one drives!), and I haven’t been in a car in the countryside for even longer, but there seemed to be a hell of a lot of roadkill. Every mile or so, some poor rabbit, bird or fox who didn’t follow the green cross code (did that work?!) would be splattered across the median strip.