Why do authors always think they know best? Just cos you’re published doesn’t mean you’re any good. Some absolutely atrocious books make it to print; some of them reach the bestseller lists. Being published is, sadly, no mark of quality.

This is on my mind right now because I am going through the book of an asinine author (every time he comes to the office he flirts with me in a sleazy way, and always seems high), and he’s marked all these words to be italicised. The effect this has is that he appears to be talking to the reader reeeaaalllyy sloooowwwlllyyy, cos they’re, you know, a bit thick, and need things spelled out for them. Um, ok. I’ll put in the italics, and you can reap the scathing reviews, dude.