Feeling impish. Am entering corrections on-screen, and some of the sentences I have in mind would be better than what the author came up with… ‘Recent signs of affluence’ could, with a slip on the keys, become ‘recent signs of flatulence’ and a colleague suggested that a soldier ‘toasting the Queen with a tot of port’ might be more interesting if he were ‘toasting the Queen over the fire with a fork’.

Work is demoralizing and boring, even if in the fortnight before Christmas it is practically compulsory to drink every day while at my desk. Certain people are pissing me off and making me feel sad. BUT tonight the Kennington Chameleon is DJing, and on Saturday the Actionettes (weatherbeaten old hags, if you believe the Guardian Guide) are having a Christmas shindig.