Things on my mind today

Finding a way to prove to the Student Loans Company that my little sister really is in Iraq with the ISM, and is not working as a copywriter, snorting fields of cocaine and earning over £1,750 a month. If you ever met my sister you’d know that she’d sooner eat her own underwear than work for The Man.

Calling my local hospital, where I am scheduled to have an operation on my eye, to either cancel this or beg/demand it be performed under general anaesthetic and not piddly I-can-see-someone-cutting-open-my-lower-eyelid-and-attacking-it-with-a-sundae-spoon-OH-MY-GOD local anaesthetic.

Something bugging me today

People who have no concept of personal space. Along with drivers who don’t indicate before they turn, this is one of my major bugbears. You know the type: a short person walking down Oxford Street with a golf umbrella (admittedly, this has been me in the past), someone waving their cigarette around at a crowded gig, doofy businessmen striding around Covent Garden this lunchtime swinging their arms to prove how powerful and manly they are, and hitting me as I walk past them.

Also, the boy and I took it in turns to ignore the alarm this morning, so we overslept by about an hour. So I am wearing no make up, have dirty hair, and now know what I will look like on a bad day in 20 years’ time.

Things I am looking forward to today

Corporate whore that I am, this afternoon is being planned around a stealthy trip to McDonald’s* where I will purchase a cold, creamy McFlurry. Against the strongly-worded advice of the boy.

Going home, drinking cold wine, reading magazines in bed.

Taking a lukewarm, verging on chilly, shower when I get home.

This list has a running theme, that theme being ‘cold’. It’s nearly 100 degrees here, and the UK falls to pieces when confronted with extreme weather. Best thing about my 9-5 office job is that I spend at least seven hours a day in air conditioning.



*Guess I’m not entirely brainwashed. Can’t remember if it’s spelled Macdonald’s, Mcdonald’s or what.